Hey Loves! I hope this week’s message finds you uplifted and feeling blessed! I’m super excited to explore some great ways in which to manage our relationships, so let’s get right into it!
Have you ever opened your heart and your life to someone who’s hurt you? We all have, that’s apart of life. We’ve all trusted someone that’s broken our trust. We’ve all loved someone who did not show us love. What happens when someone shows us their bad character again and again, bringing us stress and drama? We’re faced with a choice. Most believe that cutting such a person out of our lives completely is the answer, but Jesus teaches us something very different.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18
I’ve spoken about my relationship with my Mommy before. We weren’t always as close as we are now for multiple reasons. God has truly blessed us to be open with each other, heal from our pasts and do the work to ensure a fulfilling future relationship. I am truly blessed to have a mother that is open to communicating and willing to explore the truth from the mistakes we’ve both made. This does not mean I don’t have to manage our relationship. Let me explain. A fun fact about me is that after school during my High School years while most kids were watching MTV (Daria, TRL, etc.), I tuned into The Oprah Winfrey Show. Every D-A-Y. And during this time I soaked up all of the information, the life lessons and tried to apply then to my little teenage life. I had just turned 17 when I graduated and had all of this “knowledge” that I tried to make sure I kept at the forefront of my decisions in life.
Anywho, one show featured a mother and her daughter who had issues managing their relationship. One area in their relationship was causing major strain on the relationship overall. Basically the mother kept borrowing money from the daughter and mismanaging it. This strain was super apparent as both the mother and daughter came to tears on camera. I mean, it was Oprah…tears were expected. LOL! The expert, whom I can’t remember, gave the two advice on managing their relationship. Basically telling the daughter that it was okay to refuse to lend her mother money again, and that it was actually crucial that they refrain from letting money get in between them if they wanted to preserve and grow their relationship as mother and daughter. I was FLABBERGASTED when he said this. I had been taught that out of respect to your parents you do everything you can to make them happy…Yeah, no. If it comes at your expense and the expense of your happiness. Just say no. I have used this example in multiple ways when it comes to my relationship with my mother and others. You can’t travel with just anyone. Shopping isn’t fun with everyone. And yes, there are those that you should never lend money to. Period.
Jesus taught us this great lesson by example. He was able to LOVE all and manage his relationships concurrently. He had the 3, the 12 and the 70. The 3 were His closest friends, 12 were His disciples and the 70 were further out in His life. Don’t take these numbers too literally. We can explore them at another time. The point is He kept those He could really trust close, those who he called his disciples were a little further away and those who followed him in the crowds were even further.
My pastor explored this in his “No More Drama” series (Pastor Dharius Daniels) pretty extensively.
These are the types of relationships we should have. They are pretty explanatory, but let me know if you’d like me to go into them further. In all of our relationships we should not allow people’s actions to control us whether we’re dealing with fellow Christians or Non-Believers. Doing THE WORK is showing someone who’s wronged you that you have temperance, control over yourself. I am a witness that anger will take over your life if you predicate your actions on how you are treated. You will be let down time and time again.
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19
We can manage our relationships by moving those that show they are only interested in hurting us out of our inner circle. It’s only logical to move someone who time and time again stabs us, hurts us and causes drama further away in our lives. We can still love them from where they are. But the adjustment must take place unless we’re willing to risk being stabbed or hurt again. This is the alternative to taking revenge. This is God’s way. You’ll never accomplish the will of God by breaking the law of God. Sin doesn’t have to take place for destiny to come to fruition. Sin is from Satan. By taking revenge we would be sinning and then God would have to deal with us too!
We’re taught to be so good to our enemies that they are embarrassed: 1 Samuel 12:20. For example, if you tell someone something in confidence and then find that they always seem to share it with others, don’t take revenge. Adjust. Manage your relationship with them. Stop telling them all your business! LOL! Secondly, don’t worry about the gossip and your reputation. God will clear your name in the minds of those who matter. Those that spread gossip and judge you do NOT matter as it pertains to your purpose. My suggestion (to you and myself, lol) is to move on. Overcome evil with good.
Looking at Jesus’ example, let’s think about how Jesus managed His relationships in love. Judas surely betrayed Him, giving Him to the land’s authorities for crucifixion. Peter denied Jesus 3 times, just as Jesus had proclaimed. Once He was risen, the angel that appeared to Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome said:
“But go, tell his disciples and Peter, He is going ahead of you in Galilee”. – Mark 16:7
Jesus allowed Judas to leave His life, but Peter was invited back into Jesus’ life because he had a bad day while Judas had a bad heart. No revenge was taken on Judas, he died by his own hand. This is what happens when you “leave room for God’s wrath”. You know what they say: what goes around comes around. This is a great example given by Pastor Daniels! It tell us that some people have bad days, and some are just plain ‘ole bad! We have to discern this as it relates to our relationships and manage them accordingly.
I pray this message falls on willing hearts. Let’s ask God to give us discernment when it comes to deciding who should remain and who should be let out of our lives. Lord, we thank you for your blessings and your message of forgiveness. Please help us gain the understanding and the wisdom to choose the right people and the right positions that they should fill in our lives. We pray for fulfilling relationships, God-fearing relationships. Help us manage our relationships in LOVE, without anger or malice. Convict us when we feel the urge to take revenge, trusting you in all things and matters in our lives. Amen.
Please let me know your thoughts below in the comment section and ASK ME ANYTHING below or at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear from you and answer your questions in next week’s post!
I love you so much and so does Jesus!
Peace & Blessings,