Tag: circle of trust

  • Forgiveness Friday | Mind Your Business

    Forgiveness Friday | Mind Your Business

    Hey Loves!

    Time for another post! Apologies about the 36 hour delay :). I just returned from driving my Godson back home to Maryland. Miss him so much already! I’ll be posting more about our adventures during this past week later. But check out my Instagram (@thekglifestyle) if you can’t wait. Hehe. Sooo, I’ve got some updates!!!

    1. This will be the last Forgiveness Friday post. I SINCERELY want to thank you all for reading these posts during these past weeks. For those of you who have commented and emailed me, THANK YOU! Your stories and your encouragement were truly appreciated. Once I made time to compose these posts the words flowed just as I expected, easily. I truly believe teaching this message of forgiveness is apart of God’s purpose for my life.

    2. A new series is coming! YES! I’m not about to just leave y’all hanging now. Lol. I’m calling it the “WHOLE Series”. Have you ever seen an episode of Oprah’s Master Class on the OWN network? Y’all already know I love OWN! During the intro of the show Jane Fonda is quoted saying, ” We’re not meant to be perfect, we’re meant to be whole”. When I heard those words during her episode, I remember thinking “YES!!!!”. I made a mental note: Let me just get to MY “perfect”, where I AM whole. So these posts (also on Friday’s) will feature a piece of my journey to wholeness. Relationships, life balance, etc. I’ll be praying that God will lead me to share what it is He wants me to share. It’s going to be good!

    3. Last but definitely not least, I’m on a DAILY post challenge. I’m challenging myself to post once a day each weekday for the month of August. What’s funny is that I have all this content (pictures and video) that I just let sit in data storage with the intention to post. No more of that! If you miss the daily posts, don’t worry! I’ll send out a recap newsletter at the end of the week so that you can catch up.

    NOTE: Don’t forget! You can manage how often you’d like to receive emails from me using WordPress Reader. They’ve upgraded the notifications feature and you can now manage emails to deliver weekly, daily or never. Here’s the link, click here.

    That’s it for updates! Let’s get to the purpose of this post!

    Over the past several weeks we’ve gone over how to prepare our hearts, how to have a purposeful forgiveness conversation, how to do the work of forgiving and how to manage our relationships. It’s been a journey of self-reflection and analysis of our interaction with others. I’d like to end this series with a reminder. Mind your business. Your OWN business is what is most important in life. Our relationship with Christ is an individual decision and pursuit and in the end it’s all that matters. If our relationship with Christ is thriving ALL areas of our life will thrive as well.  Our obedience and our faith will show up in our daily lives. But the distractions, when we DON’T mind our own business will get in our way EVERY time.

    gurl.com

    Minding our own business is particularly difficult in today’s modern culture. Almost everything we see in the media and social media is about what everyone else is doing, saying or buying. Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with being inspired and informed. But in today’s reality TV world we’re tempted to compare ourselves and create goals that have nothing to do with our purpose. The obsession our culture has with following every move that a celebrity is making or staying up-to-date with every event in our “friends” lives on Facebook, cripples our individuality and skews our passion. Imagine if we could use the hours we spend on social media or watching reality television, reading, brainstorming on our next project or spending time with Jesus? We would be more knowledgeable, purpose driven and uplifted!

    When we mind our business we are tending to our business free of distractions. My pastor had a great example of this concept during a sermon several weeks ago. The message featured a story about Nehemiah. Nehemiah was given an assignment by God to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Nehemiah 6:1-15 outlines the MANY times others tried to get him to stop working and distract him from his work, his mission, his purpose. These distractions came in the form of rumors, threats of death, schemes and tricks. He stayed relentlessly focused on the task he’d been charged with. He never came down from working on the wall, so messengers and aides had to communicate with him on the ground.

    “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you? Four times they sent me the same message, and each time I gave them the same answer.” – Nehemiah 6:3-4

    In other words, every time a distraction came he told them, “Ain’t nobody got time fo that”. I absolutely loved how focused Nehemiah was when distractions came his way.

    1. He listened carefully: It’s important to pay attention while building.

    2. He spoke wisely: Never put something in writing that goes against wisdom. Nehemiah didn’t reply to the letters with threats or provoking.  He knew that they meant to do him harm but he didn’t tell them, he just kept building.

    3. He worked relentlessly: Don’t let the devil use distractions to keep you from enjoying your season. Keep building, that agitates the enemy because the building doesn’t stop. Get happy to get them back by relentlessly building.

    4. He rejected the rumors: On the 5th time Nehemiah rejected the rumors (Nehemiah 6: 5). You can’t chase destiny and rumors at the same time. Resist the impulse to address the rumors. The minds of those who are necessary for your destiny will be clear from rumors. Everyone will not like you, so accept that. To those who matter, God will keep from the message from Satan.

    Nehemiah had to resist the distractions. Sadly today, we’re so accustomed to LOOKING for distractions. Procrastination is real! And we’ve been given tools of distraction created to keep us from doing God’s work. Trust me, I know, it’s difficult to stay focused. However, I believe the closer we get to Christ, the more we fear Him and desire to do His will for our lives. With His guidance we’ll manage our relationships accordingly, removing those who keep us distracted. Loving them from afar.

    Lately I’ve been distracted which is why this and all of the other Forgiveness Friday posts have been for me too! Anytime I find myself comparing myself and the progress I’m making in any area of my life, I do my best to shut it down. I refuse to come down from the wall I’m building – the purpose that God has put on my life. And the only way to do this is to mind my own business. Stop wondering what your ex is doing, stop comparing yourself to the so-called “fabulous life” that others are portraying to be living. The grass is not always greener and even if you find yourself in so and so’s place of status you’ll find yourself unhappy and miserable. We’re meant to be WHOLE in our purpose, not their’s. That is where we’ll find peace, joy and understanding from God.

    My prayer for us all (including myself) is that we’ll have laser focus on our purposes’ and the ability to remove distractions from our lives. Lord, thank you for this word and for each day we’re given to keep working at resisting distractions. Thank you for guiding us and loving us so much! We pray that you will convict us when we seem drawn to distractions in the form of rumors, threats or others. We pray for strength just as Nehemiah did as he was rebuilding the wall, to resist distractions. Thank you for the other messages you’ve sent our way to give us clarity on forgiveness, and thank you Jesus for being the ultimate role model for us. We pray for your continued guidance as we continue our journey’s in love for everyone we encounter. Amen!

    Please let me know your thoughts below in the comment section and ASK ME ANYTHING below or at thekglifestyle@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you and answer your questions in next week’s WHOLE post!

    I love you so much and so does Jesus!

    Peace & Blessings,

    thekglifestylesignature

     

     

    P.S. If you’re looking for the other posts click here. I’ve categorized them for ya! :)

  • Forgiveness Friday | Managing Relationships

    Forgiveness Friday | Managing Relationships

    Hey Loves! I hope this week’s message finds you uplifted and feeling blessed! I’m super excited to explore some great ways in which to manage our relationships, so let’s get right into it!

    Have you ever opened your heart and your life to someone who’s hurt you? We all have, that’s apart of life. We’ve all trusted someone that’s broken our trust. We’ve all loved someone who did not show us love. What happens when someone shows us their bad character again and again, bringing us stress and drama? We’re faced with a choice. Most believe that cutting such a person out of our lives completely is the answer, but Jesus teaches us something very different.

    “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

    I’ve spoken about my relationship with my Mommy before. We weren’t always as close as we are now for multiple reasons. God has truly blessed us to be open with each other, heal from our pasts and do the work to ensure a fulfilling future relationship. I am truly blessed to have a mother that is open to communicating and willing to explore the truth from the mistakes we’ve both made. This does not mean I don’t have to manage our relationship. Let me explain. A fun fact about me is that after school during my High School years while most kids were watching MTV (Daria, TRL, etc.), I tuned into The Oprah Winfrey Show. Every D-A-Y. And during this time I soaked up all of the information, the life lessons and tried to apply then to my little teenage life. I had just turned 17 when I graduated and had all of this “knowledge” that I tried to make sure I kept at the forefront of my decisions in life.

    Anywho, one show featured a mother and her daughter who had issues managing their relationship. One area in their relationship was causing major strain on the relationship overall. Basically the mother kept borrowing money from the daughter and mismanaging it. This strain was super apparent as both the mother and daughter came to tears on camera. I mean, it was Oprah…tears were expected. LOL! The expert, whom I can’t remember, gave the two advice on managing their relationship. Basically telling the daughter that it was okay to refuse to lend her mother money again, and that it was actually crucial that they refrain from letting money get in between them if they wanted to preserve and grow their relationship as mother and daughter. I was FLABBERGASTED when he said this. I had been taught that out of respect to your parents you do everything you can to make them happy…Yeah, no. If it comes at your expense and the expense of your happiness. Just say no. I have used this example in multiple ways when it comes to my relationship with my mother and others. You can’t travel with just anyone. Shopping isn’t fun with everyone. And yes, there are those that you should never lend money to. Period.

    Jesus taught us this great lesson by example. He was able to LOVE all and manage his relationships concurrently. He had the 3, the 12 and the 70. The 3 were His closest friends, 12 were His disciples and the 70 were further out in His life. Don’t take these numbers too literally. We can explore them at another time. The point is He kept those He could really trust close, those who he called his disciples were a little further away and those who followed him in the crowds were even further.

    My pastor explored this in his “No More Drama” series (Pastor Dharius Daniels) pretty extensively. 

    Kindred

    Corporate

    Casual

    Kingdom

    These are the types of relationships we should have. They are pretty explanatory, but let me know if you’d like me to go into them further. In all of our relationships we should not allow people’s actions to control us whether we’re dealing with fellow Christians or Non-Believers. Doing THE WORK is showing someone who’s wronged you that you have temperance, control over yourself. I am a witness that anger will take over your life if you predicate your actions on how you are treated. You will be let down time and time again. 

    “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19

    We can manage our relationships by moving those that show they are only interested in hurting us out of our inner circle. It’s only logical to move someone who time and time again stabs us, hurts us and causes drama further away in our lives. We can still love them from where they are. But the adjustment must take place unless we’re willing to risk being stabbed or hurt again. This is the alternative to taking revenge. This is God’s way. You’ll never accomplish the will of God by breaking the law of God. Sin doesn’t have to take place for destiny to come to fruition. Sin is from Satan. By taking revenge we would be sinning and then God would have to deal with us too!

    We’re taught to be so good to our enemies that they are embarrassed: 1 Samuel 12:20. For example, if you tell someone something in confidence and then find that they always seem to share it with others, don’t take revenge. Adjust. Manage your relationship with them. Stop telling them all your business! LOL! Secondly, don’t worry about the gossip and your reputation. God will clear your name in the minds of those who matter. Those that spread gossip and judge you do NOT matter as it pertains to your purpose. My suggestion (to you and myself, lol) is to move on. Overcome evil with good.

    invitations

    Looking at Jesus’ example, let’s think about how Jesus managed His relationships in love. Judas surely betrayed Him, giving Him to the land’s authorities for crucifixion. Peter denied Jesus 3 times, just as Jesus had proclaimed. Once He was risen, the angel that appeared to Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome said:

    “But go, tell his disciples and Peter, He is going ahead of you in Galilee”. – Mark 16:7

    Jesus allowed Judas to leave His life, but Peter was invited back into Jesus’ life because he had a bad day while Judas had a bad heart. No revenge was taken on Judas, he died by his own hand. This is what happens when you “leave room for God’s wrath”. You know what they say: what goes around comes around. This is a great example given by Pastor Daniels! It tell us that some people have bad days, and some are just plain ‘ole bad! We have to discern this as it relates to our relationships and manage them accordingly.

    I pray this message falls on willing hearts. Let’s ask God to give us discernment when it comes to deciding who should remain and who should be let out of our lives. Lord, we thank you for your blessings and your message of forgiveness. Please help us gain the understanding and the wisdom to choose the right people and the right positions that they should fill in our lives. We pray for fulfilling relationships, God-fearing relationships. Help us manage our relationships in LOVE, without anger or malice. Convict us when we feel the urge to take revenge, trusting you in all things and matters in our lives. Amen.

     Please let me know your thoughts below in the comment section and ASK ME ANYTHING below or at thekglifestyle@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you and answer your questions in next week’s post!

    I love you so much and so does Jesus!

    Peace & Blessings,

    thekglifestylesignature