In January of this year I was asked by my friend Ashley Brown to talk about my lifestyle and how I feel as though I’m single, saved and secure. As I’m in the middle of some serious spirit work I’m just now reflecting on the interview and really astounded on how much WORK I still needed and still NEED to do. Not to say I thought I was completely good or perfect, but I definitely have a different perspective on my state of mind. If I didn’t have a different perspective I would be worried. We should always be evolving and coming to new understandings of how we are called to live and love.
Before I go into the things I’ve gained new perspective on, take a look at the interview…
New Thought #1: Just when you think you’ve got a handle on your perspective and that you are grounded, you WILL be tested. I was surprised by a test only 3 days before this video went live. To think that we don’t need, or don’t desperately need to rely on the strength of the Holy Spirit inside of us constantly, is to plan to fail. I was so comfortable and prideful (problem) with “how far I’d come”, that I didn’t see the test as it approached me. Seeing that this was my state of mind and by owning the mistake, I can now embrace and sit in my vulnerability. I can allow the Holy Spirit to take the wheel literally. With him driving I feel protected and can resonate with him when I’m approached by anyone or any situation. Is this of you God? Is this where you want me to be right now? Is this what you want me to wear? I can consistently walk with His Spirit in power when I acknowledge my need to do so and His want to be there, walking with me.
New Thought #2: I’m GREAT when I’m single. My therapist recently made a great point when I told her about someone I was dating. She said, ” Everyone can do well single, it’s when we introduce someone else into the mix where we began to experience challenges”. I think many of us question the behaviors of our significant other or potential significant other when relationship issues arise, but it’s US who needs to own our problematic behaviors. I’ve been known to say and repeat, “I’m SOOOOOO much happier when I’m single”. And it’s true, I am more happy, productive, focused and stress-free. However, what I’m discovering is that the “things” that come up in relationships are REAL. They aren’t the man’s fault, they are issues I need to address. Without that man or that relationship (a mirror of sorts) I would not know what I need to work on and heal. If I want to be married and not just be happy but to have a relationship that reflects true love and JOY, it’s my job to do this work. My perspective now reflects me taking responsibility for the good and the bad that I’m bringing to the table.
New Thought #3: You are forgiven, so forgive yourself. I have a bad habit of carrying guilt around. Whether that means I feel guilty because I didn’t complete my to-do list, or for falling down during my abstinence journey – I hold onto that. There is NO one harder on myself than I am. I am truly my harshest critic and this perspective has been crippling. In fact, I can attribute my recent lack of motivation to create and my mental exhaustion to this way of thinking. Much of my spirit work now has given me more freedom. The phrases I say to myself are starting to change. To call out those things that are….for example, if I say “I am behind, I am late, I am lazy” I’m changing that narrative to “I am on time, I am right where I need to be, I am full of energy”. I’m not sure where I got the belief that if I don’t complete something on my to-do list or if I fall down in my Christian walk that I am to be shamed and blamed by MYSELF or anyone! If God has no record of wrongs and has leant his strength to me, why claim the exact opposite? My new perspective is that I can always learn to do things better, in a better way, and that I am forgiven!
As I hinted in the video, this work is never done. It’s about the ability to surrender and THAT is a lifelong journey. Whether I am single or married, this work of improving and healing will continue. Being single is a blessed time set aside to do the work and prepare for my husband (if that is what God has for me). Being saved has NOTHING to do with what I’m doing, but the belief that I am saved by grace and more about who it is that I am being. Being secure is the grounded knowing of who I am in Christ Jesus and acting like I know who I am and who’s I am! I pray this update and new perspective to some of the truths I spoke on in the video has blessed you. Can’t wait to share more and really bring you all into this journey of Christ’s love. If this post blessed you, share it!